Top 10 Rules for Dating
(from the book “The Rules” by Ellen Fein & Sherrie Schneider)
1. Be A Creature Unlike Any Other
Being a creature unlike any other is really an attitude, a sense of confidence and radiance that permeates your being from head to toe. It's the way you smile (you light up the room), pause in between sentences (you don't babble on out of nervousness), listen (attentively), look (demurely, never stare), breathe (slowly), stand (straight) and walk (briskly, with your shoulders back). When a relationship doesn't work out, you brush away a tear so that it doesn't smudge your makeup and you move on!
2. Show Up at Parties, Dances and Social Events, even If You Don't Really Feel Like It.
Realize that you may not meet Mr. Right naturally and that you therefore must take social action immediately even if you don't want to. Get a manicure and go out on another date or to that singles dance -- do something to increase your chances of meeting men.
3. It's a Fantasy Relationship if He Doesn't Ask You Out
Don't waste time on a fantasy relationship. You may have a good rapport with your doctor, lawyer or accountant, and you may find yourself wondering if he is interested in you romantically. How can you know for sure? If he's never asked you out, then He's Just Not That Into You!
4. In an office romance, do not email back every time he emails you, unless it is business-related
On all non-business e-mails, responding once for every four of his e-mails is a good rule of thumb. Remember, you never know who has access to your e-mail, so keep all romance off the screen and save it for Saturday nights.
5. If you are in a long-distance relationship, he must visit you at least 3 times before you visit him.
Remember, the first three visits are really nothing more than three dates... and on the first three dates we don't have sex with a man or have him stay at our place overnight.
6. When considering whether to use personal ads or other dating services, you should place the ad, and let men respond to you.
It goes back to the basic premise of The Rules: Man pursues woman. When writing your ad, remember that every man has a type, a voice or a look he likes. There has to be a spark for him that attracts him to you, something that makes him find you unexplainably special.
7. If he does not call, he is not that interested. Period.
We know this is hard to accept, but it's not that he hasn't called because he's busy, or because you didn't smile or talk enough (or did too much). It's not that he lost your phone number. The bottom line is, if he hasn't called, he's not that interested.
8. Close the deal - Rules girls do not date men for two years.
If you've followed The Rules, your man probably loves you and wants to marry you. Your problem is not if he marries you, but when! If it's been more than a year, see less of him and think about dating others. You've already spent more than a year waiting for him to propose; do you have another year to wait?
9. Buyer beware --- observe his behavior so you do not end up with Mr. Wrong
Love may be blind, but Rules girls are not stupid! How does he act in the relationship? Is he cheap on dates? Is he critical of you? Remember, The Rules are not about marrying the first man you are attracted to who calls you by Wednesday for Saturday night and buys you flowers. It's about marrying your own personal Mr. Right -- a man whom you love and whose character you admire and can live with.
10. Keep doing the rules, even when things are slow
Take care of yourself, take a bubble bath and build up your soul with positive slogans like "I am a beautiful woman. I am enough." You must learn to accept that, as an adult, you can't always rely on a friend to do things with you. Even if you don't meet Mr. Right, going out -- whether it's a restaurant, lecture or party -- is a chance to meet new people and practice The Rules.
“Do you want me to tell you something really subversive?
Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it.
It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.” ~ Erica Jong
