The RAINN.org Top 10 Safety Tips for Back to School Safety
(rainn.org, 2010)
1. Trust your instincts. “If you don’t feel safe or comfortable in any situation, go with your gut,” suggests Jessica Lefler, survivor of acquaintance rape. “Contact your resident assistant or campus police immediately if you see anything suspicious.”
2. Avoid being alone with someone you don’t know or trust. “Make sure a dependable friend knows where you are and who you are with,” says Diva Kass, survivor of acquaintance rape.
3. Be safe online. “Make sure you don’t share personal information online, such as your phone number, address, or your current location on your social networking pages or status posts; it can endanger your safety,” Breann Artes, rape survivor. “Be cautious about meeting someone you got to know online, and always meet in a public place.”
4. BystanderIntervention: don’t be afraid to intervene if a situation
seems questionable. "If a situation seems questionable, don't be afraid to step up and intervene. If you see someone acting aggressively: speak up and step up--get involved,” says Frank DiCocco, whose friend was sexually assaulted by an acquaintance. “By getting involved, you could prevent someone from becoming a victim. You could also help prevent someone you know from committing a crime. Either way: if you see something happening that isn't right, have the courage to do the right thing. Speak up and step up. Do the right thing
5. Watch out for your friends. “If your friend seems too drunk or is acting abnormally, get him or her to a safe place immediately,” says Marnie Goodfriend, survivor of stranger rape. “If you think you or a friend has been drugged, call 911. Make sure to tell the doctors about your suspicions, so that they know what to test for, time is important, as some drugs metabolize faster, blood and urine should be tested.
6. Practice safe drinking. Alcohol is the #1 date rape drug, watch how much you drink. “Don't accept drinks from people you don't know or trust and never leave your drink by itself– if you’ve left your drinks alone, just get a new one,” suggests Kristine Honkus, survivor of acquaintance rape.
7. Try not to go out alone at night. Go out, but walk with someone you trust. “If you’ll be walking home alone, call campus security to walk with you,” Patricia Cumbie, survivor of acquaintance rape advises. “And if possible, take heavily trafficked well lit routes.”
8. Don’t let your guard down. “College campuses can give you a false sense of security. Don’t assume people you’ve just met will take care of you; remember that they are basically strangers,” suggests Kelly Dries, survivor of acquaintance rape.
9. Don’t go off alone at parties. Jessica Frazelle, survivor of acquaintance rape, stresses this importance. “Arrive with your friends, check in with each other throughout the night, and leave together,” she suggests. “Make a secret signal with your friends for when they should intervene if you’re in an uncomfortable situation.”
10. Have a plan. “Make sure you know what to do or who to contact if a situation arises, like the National Sexual Assault Hotline,” says Madeleine Lietz, survivor of stranger rape. “Being prepared is an important step.” Call your RA, campus police; or ask a friend to drive you to the E.R. Ask for help, it’s there for you.
Ultimately, there is no surefire way to prevent an attack. If you or someone you know has been affected by sexual violence, it’s not your fault. You are not alone. Talk to someone who understands what you’re going through. Help is just a call or click away via:
RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotlines:1-800.656.HOPE
and online: rainn.org.
Ready for Sex? The Short List(edited from Scarleteen.com)
When we're figuring out if we're ready for sex with a partner, if we want to ask ourselves the most basic 4 questions possible, those are:
- Do I want to have this kind/these kinds of sex for myself, physically, emotionally and intellectually? Do the other person's physical, emotional and intellectual wants also seem in alignment?
- Do I want to do this at this time, in this setting, with this particular person? Does the other person want to do what we're going to now and with me?
- Do I have a good sense of what possible wanted and unwanted experiences and outcomes this can entail? Do I feel pretty prepared for them? How about the person I'm about to have sex with: are they aware and prepared?
- If there are unwanted outcomes I can avoid -- like pregnancy, infection, getting hurt in some way -- am I prepared with what I need to do/use to try and prevent them well? Is the other person? Are we in agreement about the ways we're going to protect ourselves?
Do I feel really good about the answers to those four questions?
If you said yes to the last question, then you and your partner(s) are probably in a sound position to have a kind of sex together and more likely to have positive outcomes. If you said no to the last question, then one or both of you might want to press pause, and rethink your choices and/or take some time to make changes to whatever needs changing to get you both to that yes.
