"Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can have. It's much sexier than any body part."~ Aimee Mullins
Fixes for a Stalled Sex Life
As women age, (>21!) they are two to three times more likely than men to be affected by a decrease in sexual desire. Low sexual desire is especially common in relationships of long duration.
Health problems (of either partner), busy lives, parenting, medications, stress from work or illness, relationship problems, and more can all contribute to the problem. Yet most of us consider sex to be an important aspect of our life and overall well-being. All the more reason to keep reading. While the following fixes may be quick, the results will hopefully be long lasting.
1. Think about sex. A woman's brain is still her most important sexual organ. So use it to think about sex. Thinking about it more can actually make it happen more.
2. Make an intimate appointment. Write sex on the calendar. Maybe not the word “sex” exactly, but try scheduling an encounter. Forget spontaneity. If it doesn’t get scheduled, it doesn’t get done. Plan a mini-trip away from home.
3. Change course from intercourse. Creativity can be erotic for couples. Take a break from vaginal intercourse. Try massage, oral sex, sensual baths, manual stimulation, or caressing. A variety of pleasuring techniques can also be explored with or without partners.
4. Shop for sex. Sexual enhancement creams, vaginal lubricants, and moisturizers can be found at most neighborhood or online pharmacies. Or visit an adult boutique for magazines, toys, and an array of products that will surely make for some interesting “research.” Make sure to pretest all new topical products in a “safe” area (eg, behind the ear) to make sure they do not irritate. Don’t forget to smell and taste products.
5. Focus on that body -- inside & out. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle with regular exercise, regular sleep habits, and a balanced diet can boost self-confidence that in turn can help increase sexual desire. You can learn to love your body.
6. Speak up. Don't be shy about telling a partner about your changing needs or desires. Women may also find it helpful to talk to a healthcare provider. Sometimes, sexual problems have medical and or physical causes; some of which can easily be treated. Medical treatments can improve, and some can interfere with, sexual health. Also, consider consulting a sex counselor or therapist for individual or couples therapy. Visit the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists (aasect.org), for directory of certified candidates.
7. Don’t stop. Continue sexual activity as long as you wish. Your age is not an issue. Sexual activity on a regular basis, with a partner or by self-stimulation, can help maintain vaginal elasticity and lubrication -- which means better, more comfortable, more satisfying sex.
